It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
i think i have herpe
just one?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
