Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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