Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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