It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
