her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
