In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
i barfeds in our rink
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
