I looked at my own cervix.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
