how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
