is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize
