You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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