Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
