its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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