I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
