you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
as a side note pls kill me
Randomize
