I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Randomize
