oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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