My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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