YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
