He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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