she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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