Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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