but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
