dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
You took a bar mat shot.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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