How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Randomize