shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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