After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
