As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
