Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Do vagina's smell?
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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