Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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