dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
