She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
๐๐๐ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Itโs gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylanโs party
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize