I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I think I died a long time ago.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Sext me about skeletons
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
