i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
