Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
You need a sexual gate keeper
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize