You're so nebulous sometimes
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
