You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
