Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
home. puking in laundry basket.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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