i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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