there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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