Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
