Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
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