To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I'm both gender and math confused
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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