I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
