rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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