YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
