hotel room ftw
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Randomize
