What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
