Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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