I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
