I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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