The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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