party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i would punch a child for taco bell
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
