What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
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