actually, I'm a sock model
i think my tv is drunk
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
