she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
