thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
