I love having hate sex.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Randomize