I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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