I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
