Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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